Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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i have aids and a chode

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Hey, you have small hands.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

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What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so try can be used interchangeably.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asked the bartender. "It's genetic." replied the horse, amazed at the man's incapability to understand horses.

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Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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My nipple is bleeding

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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Womens Sports

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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