So its 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar....I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ends up getting nuked.

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

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Your eye color is very unique.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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Women's Rights

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Your mother is so fat.

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Rick Perry.

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when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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