"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

A Woman out of the kitchen

What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

How's your mum? she's dead..

What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

Whats better than winning a Paralympic Gold Medal? Having Legs.

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a lady....

If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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