you know what's worse than being grounded? AIDS

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

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A Jew walks into a bar screaming cause he just broke his face

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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I shot a bitch.

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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Why did the man die a slow and painful death? Because he kept submitting stupid, recycled anti-jokes over and over; so, I killed him.

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Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

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what does a gay horse eat heeyyyyy

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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a Polar bear in an Igloo.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

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What do Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Pamela Anderson all have in common? All of their last names end with an "n"

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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