What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

What does Chuck Noris have under his beard? A chin

What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

how do you find will smith in the snow? with rescue dogs

Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

A bear and a rabbit sits by a small lake in the forest, taking a shit. After a while, the bear asks the rabbit: "Do you have problems with shit hanging from you fur after you're done?" The Rabbitm ponders, and responds: "No, bear. I really don't". Than the bear wiped his ass with some moss.

womens rights

How will Jesse die? His mom doesnt have any food left (or money) so she eats him, and then jesse's fat little brother farts on his obese corpse

How do you keep black people from hanging around in your front yard? Hang them in the back..

Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

once there where 3 guys on a beach. they found a bottle and a fetis came out.. later they found out 2 of the 3 had cancer and the 3rd was a vegetable.

Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

Q:What do you call a black man flying a plane? A: An over-used anti-joke

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

What's black and red all over? Half a cat

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

What's worse then forced to eat frog legs? Xbox one

A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

Why did the chicken cross the road? A man held him at gunpoint and threatened to kill his entire family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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