What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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Jesus Christ

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops