So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Peas

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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