What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

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what does a human and a bucket of red paint have in common? . . Both are not tigers

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

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Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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What's black, white, and red all over? An African American and Caucasian man painting a house with red paint and accidentally spilling some on themselves

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I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service

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What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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XD, You must really like me Nero, do you think people have problems telling us apart here?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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