Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

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How does Steven Hawkings refresh after a long day of work? F5

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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So a man is in a car smoking weed when he forgets to crack a window so he over doses and dies. The car crashes and he kills 3 other people.

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops