Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says, "I'll man the guns. You drive."

If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your cousin. Kathy then let Jim inside her house and helped him carry the pizza boxes into the kitchen. Everyone had fun and enjoyed the party very much that night.

When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

justin beiber sucks

Q. Pete and Repeat were sitting on a wall. Repeat fell off. Which one was left? A. Pete. Yep.

Q:Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: Because she has no arms. ..... Knock knock! who's there? Not Sara, she has no arms and doesn't have the abitlity to knock.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

Why can't you get a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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