Last words of a redneck - "Hold my beer and watch this"

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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What computer sings the best? A Dell? No a Mac, because they are the superior computer.

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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No soap radio

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

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How did the black man cross the Atlantic? An airplane. He also could have used a boat. However, airplanes are a preferred form of travel.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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What worse than finding crap on the road? Tripping over and landing on it.

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How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

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justin Beiber is gay. what else is there to say...

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

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I didn't know that guy did crossfit

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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