Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

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Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

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Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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Q. How did the little girl fall of the swing? A.She got hit by a fridge

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A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? its a refridgerator Why did the third monkey jump out of the tree It thought it was a game

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what happens when a white guy goes to harlem he gets robbed by 5 to 10 black men

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why was the butcher bald? He was undergoing intensive chemotherapy.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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Christianity is not a religion; it's a relationship with God.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Q. What do you say when a baby gets hit by a car? A. Lol fail

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What did the Cow say to the Chicken? Nothing animals cant talk

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Type better antijokes above

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A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

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How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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