What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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Heskey time.

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Knock knock? Who is there? Nobody. Those were noises coming from your head.

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Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

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knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

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why did radio not get the song? beacause he radio didnt work.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

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If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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What do you call an African-American, Latino, Asian, and Canadian all on the same football team? A reasonably diverse group of teammates who are most likely good acquaintances.

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Yo Mama just died.

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What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

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Tommy got neutered.

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops