what is white and sticky a stick from a birch tree

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What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

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There are 2 kinds of people in this world... 1.Those who need closure.

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your mommas so fat i like fat cows is she home?

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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a mexican, a asian and a black guy are in a car whos driving? your mom

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A man said lol, I said lol back. Then he started to beat me up for repeating his phrase!

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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What did the Joker say to Batman? Why are we wearing these stupid costumes

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

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why did the owner of Google decide to name the company "Google"? google it..

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why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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Your friend is so gay that he isn't attracted to hot women

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A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

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What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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