Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

Gay's

Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

so... how about that airplane food

Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

Why did Sally fall off a tree? She wanted to get down

what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

know whats funnier than 24? 25.

You know why the economy is so bad? Years of giving into corporations instead of local business. This moves the profits to the owner of the company instead of mom and pop who will be giving it back to the local community.

Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

Why was the girl crying? - Someone pooped on her face.

Why was Why added to why? Because WHy not.

Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...