How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

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So everything, the chat we had before was all you know, a game so I would call you? I am not sleepy but I can wait until you can confirm everything.

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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Okay I have knock knock joke but u have to start it. Okay Knock knock Who's there (akward silence)

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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Why do black people like watermelons so much? They don't. It's just a stereotype.

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

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What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops