Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

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What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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