How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? Throw an axe at it's face.

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What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving? Their driver. The black guy has a very prosperous career and their life is at the envy of many.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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Your chicken just went across the road. What does this tell you about the economy?

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Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

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whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

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whats the dif...mexicans are gay

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What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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If life gives you lemons, squeeze it in life' s eyes.

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What's better than winning $5000 a week for life?! Winning any larger sum of money a week for life, and sex.

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What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

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what's the worst part of your kid dying the clean up

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

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Q: What did the chinese guy say to his friend? A: ??

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USA, one of the richest and most proud nations on this plan- VIETNAM 9/11 BYE FOR NOW!!!

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you put the chevy to the levy when your pants fell heave diarea

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what did the photographer tell the model? You're ugly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops