Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

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Why did Jorge eat Larry's face? He was on bath salt.

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What do people say when a dyslesic person scores a goal in soccer good job that was a nice goal

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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meh

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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A French man gets into a fight

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Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

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Hey. I have to ask you a serious question. Okay. what? You can only answer with yes or no. Okay what is it? Do your parents know your gay? .....

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what can you give to a millionaire to make him happy? sex

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*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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What do you call Mary in a wheelchair ... virgin mobile

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Llama. Llama who? Llamas aren't racist unlike that bastard Ann Coulter. That's why they can get a carrot up the ass and she can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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