Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted of in space.

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

yo mama is so fat even dora cant explore her

What happened to the starving african kid? He died

What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

So what do you guys wanna do?? Anything, I still have cancer..

Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

you

your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf which impairs the ability to register sights and sounds necessary to operate an automobile.

what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

OHIO DRIVERS.......THAT IS ALL......

Two gays walk into a bar, they are then kicked out by the homophobic owner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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