How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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Yes.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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, , /^\ ___ /^\_/ `...' /` ,__\ ,' ~ ( ,___\ ,, ., \ \___ \\\ .'.' .-. ) .'.-\\\`.`. '.-. ( / (==== ."". ( o ) \ ,/u `~~~'| / `-' ) "")^u ^u^|~| `""". ~_ / /^u ^u ^\~\ ". \\ _ /u^ u ^u ~\ ". \\ ( \ )^ ^U ^U ^U\~\ ". \\ (_ (\ /^U ^ ^U ^U ~| ". `\ (_ _ \ )U ^ U^ ^U ^|~| ". `\. (_ = _(\ \^ U ^U ^ U^ ~| ".`.; (_ -( _\_)U ^ ^ U^ ^|~| "" (_ = ( ^ U^ U^ ^ U ~| (_ - ( ~ = ^ U ^U U ^|~/ (_ = (_^U^ ^ U^ U / (_- ~_(/ \^ U^ ^U^," (_ = _/ |^ u^u." (_ (/ |u^ u.( (__/ )^u^ u/ /u^ u^( |^ u^ u/ |u^ u^( ____ |^u^ u( .-' `-, \^u ^ \ / ' .---. \ \^ u^u\ | ' ` ; | \u^u^u:` . `-' ; | `-.^ u`._ _.'^'./ "-.^.-```_=~._/ `"------"' Seahorse

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Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

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Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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A: Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights B: Wanna hear another joke? Your sexist beliefs are why your single...

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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