a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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what do you call a black man named mike

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robin, get in the car.

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Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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Jake Bowar

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

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Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

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What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

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R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

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How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

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The glass is half an hour.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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A baby crawls into an abortion clinic.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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