What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How did the people get into the pyramid?? They didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A Muslim blows up a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A Mormon walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

69

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the clown say when his car broke down? Sh*t!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

9/11/01 walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What faster than a black man with a t.v A: A jew with a coupon

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops