Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

Why did the black guy get fired from his job. I asked first.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Chuck Norris was a famous actor that starred in Walker, Texas Ranger and Missing in Action. He is a normal person, just like you and me.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is a real guy. Sorry kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why'd jimmy drop his candy wrapper? He was brutally melested and stabbed I the eyeballs with forks and cut into pieces before he could make it to the trash can. He was then thrown into the trash can he was going to.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

how did the little girl get to heaven? she died.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You wanna know what sucks about your face? . . Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt a black guy ate him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mama's so fat she's going on weight-watchers to pursue a healthier lifestyle and avoid the longterm effects of obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A gorilla walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of celery. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the given situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +174

whats the difference between a mexican and an elevator? An elevator can raise a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

whats better than sex? cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than sitting in a car that's steered by a woman? Sitting in an airplane steered by a suicidal pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I friended Paul Walker on Xbox, but he's always in the Dashboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did Jesus walk on water? He was Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +154

What does the English major do? Write anti-jokes because he has no job

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a self-absorbed prick. And, honestly, the chicken and the road weren't that great of friends anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What smells worse than a skunk? A dead skunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

roses are grey violets are grey everything is? grey i'm colour blind fml

thumb_up thumb_down -7

This, is indeed the funniest joke you will ever read, honest! "shows joke on written paper"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the 70 year old white barber refuse to cut the black man's hair... It's because the old man's wife died just two weeks prior to this appointment and he is not in the current mental state to be wielding a pair of sharp sicors near another man's neck. This has happened many times between him and his customers in the past week, and his client base is lessening because of this.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops