Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -113

A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops