Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

thumb_up thumb_down +105

A man walks into a bar, he is immediately rushed to the emergency room

thumb_up thumb_down +95

A married man takes the ring off his finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +11

elliot forsythe is a paedo

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to rape him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you kill a blonde ? Shoot her in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +3

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops