Want to hear a funny joke? Sure. Women's Rights. That's not even a joke. You don't get it. It's not even a sentence.

Got milk? No.

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

Why did the Black man drown? Because he could not and did not know how to swim. Because he could not afford the lessons to learn how to swim. Because he does not have the financial means to afford a lesson in swimming. Because he is of a low socio-economic level.

What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

Why did the black man work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because he was fired from his job at a grocery store, and it was the only job he could find on short notice in the current job market.

All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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