MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

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Why was the napkin wet? Some water was on it

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What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

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If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

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I have an idea! You leave.

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anti-joke.com

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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MILLERS FUNNY LIKE A JEW

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops