What's faster a hungry black guy or a car? A car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Little goldy locks was walking through a forest and stumbled across a nice cabin. She went inside and ate some newly made porridge and slept on the various beds that were there. The owners of the house came back from a stroll of their own and sued her for breaking and entering.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar... They then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, harmony and understanding between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, they truly can coexist, and decide to pursue peace among one another and the rest of society.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's always an Asian Better than you

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? He died .

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What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

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Whats worse than seeing your family killed in front of your eyes? Not much to be honest

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A woman walks into a bar and asks for a duck. The bartender is confused, assumes the women has some sort of mental problem, and treats her nicely, as his sister suffers from Down's Syndrome.

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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Why did Hunter cross the road? No one cares, unless he gets hit.

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops