How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

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Why is Sophie incapable of Lifeguarding correctly? Because she only has limited use of all of her senses , especially hearing,

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?... CAUSE HE FELT LIKE IT, IDIOT

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What is the best thing in the world? The opposite of the worst thing in the world.

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My Butthole.

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WNBA

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Joke

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Q: What did the priest say to the small child. A: Rite?

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What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

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When life gives you a pack of Kools, make Kool-Aid.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a fish? A dead fish.

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A Sloth runs...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

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There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops