i like cats

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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A man buys free health care...

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What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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Sonic

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops