- Anti Joke

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

Spongebob: Patrick! Can you hear me? Patrick: No, it's too dark.

If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

Knock knock. Who's there? Cook Pu. Ok then. Kelvin Yang.

<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

Knock Knock Who's There? Dave I don't know a Dave, Please leave.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

Whats funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.