There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Probably just one.

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow you just don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement."

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Gianni

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A Jew, homosexual and Irishman walk into a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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Why did i drink 4 sodas? Because i was thirsty

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

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bitches be crafty.

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What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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What has 8 legs , 6 eyes and 3 mouths ? - A cowboy riding a horse while holding a chicken .

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wow such mark very mark many mark so mark

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A man is writing with a #2 pencil. He looks down and sees that it says "Made in China." He shrugs and continues writing

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You are what you eat, so... Can we not talk about this? Cause for me it's recently been sort of sexual. ... How can it be ?.... Ohhhh, dude, that's disgusting...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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