A human walked into a bar, The bartender quacked, "quack quack quack" The human wondered why all the patrons and the bartender were ducks, so he left the bar, before his head spontaneously exploded.

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Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Orange" "Oh, hey."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

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Why did the black man break a woman's ribs? Cardiovascular resuscitation is an emergency procedure often used outside of hospitals to revive unconscious individuals before medical professionals are able to intervene. Sometimes having your life saved comes at a cost.

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how did the monkey fall out of the tree he was stupid how did the monkey get a black eye he was hit by a bus how did the monkey end up in the sewer he got hit by another bus

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Nippies

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whats red and black and green all over? a paint job gone bad

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Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

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Caller: Is your fridge running! Callee: ... umm yes? Caller: I guess you don't need my services. Thanks Callee: ok bye

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what do you call a black person in the dark? ........invisible

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Why are white people not good at basketball? Because they aren't black.

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God bless America, and no where else.

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Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour

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Bob and his family were looking forward to going to an all inclusive holiday to Spain. When they got on the plane, a bomb went off, causing Bob to realise that he was never going to see his family again, and that they were about to suffer a horrific, painful death.

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Robin get in the Batmobile.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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What did the salad say to the dressing? Nothing! Carrots don't talk!

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Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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