How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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I ENJOY MASTURBATING

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Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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What is brown and sticky? Poop

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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Obama enters a KKK meeting Obama: Oh sorry I thought this was the Kentucky Fried Chicken... the font was so small so... as he starts backing off scared... KKK: leader, of course Mr.President, feel free to come again anytime! Moral: Kings Knocking Ketchup is actually a nice place if you not unlike me enjoy ketchup...

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

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This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

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what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

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What's 5+7? Piccillo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops