Dad: "When I was your age, I had to walk outside to catch the school bus. If it snowed heavily the night before, school was canceled."

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

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Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

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How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

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What does the latin maid does when I tell har to clean behind the couch? Nothing, she doesn't speak English.

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Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

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What did the guy with Alzheimer's say to his.... Wait, I forgot the joke

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? were both therapists.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

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what's the best part about twenty three year olds? There is twenty of them

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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What's the similiarity between a black person and a bicycle? They both work best with chains.

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Yo mama's so poor she is on welfare.

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What did the cabbage say to the cabbage? I dont know ask the leafy guy.... >_

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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:(Sneeze) :Bless You :Thank You! :Mention it :Thank You!

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What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops