A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Write your own

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your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

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whats bigger than a 4 school bus pile up? genocide.

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Why was the plumber very sad Because i killed his family

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Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

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What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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A man stuck his diick in a blender He had a "penis shake" for breakfast

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

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So a blonde was trying to peel a banana, but she couldn't because she was viciously attacked by chimpanzees and had all her fingers bitten off

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What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

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Roses are red, Violets are violet. You guys really suck at making poems...

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how do you make a family tan? You burn them in the house.

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What's black and white and red all over? A cow being processed

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What do you call a gay African American Jewish German flight attendant who is addicted to many hard drugs? His name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops