A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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look left now look right. washing machine

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

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How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did he die? He was sick.

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Roses are red, stones are gray, this poem is obvious, YOU DONT SAY??

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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