When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

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How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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a man walks into a bar.......ouch

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How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

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What do you call a dead black guy? A TERRIBLE CRIME

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What's a mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

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A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

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What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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What is brown and sticky?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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