Q. What do you call a black priest? A. Holy Shit

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One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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Why did the plane full of Arabs crash? One of The engines failed

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Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

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8=>

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

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A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

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-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

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What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

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Fuck her

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A boy with red hair is happy.

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Q: What did 0 say to 8. A: Nothing...However multiplied they equal 0

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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