- Anti Joke

Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

Jesus the comedy skits: 1. Jesus just hanging around on a sunny day getting a bit philosophical... Jesus hanging on the cross screaming towards the sky: "FATHER WHYY!?" God: Giant thunderbolt across the sky as a giant storm begins, it rains whirlwinds etc supposedly worst storm since Noah`s ark according to The History Network Wet,cold Jesus with ringing ears: Gurgle spits ... WTF kinda answer is that? Could you not just have said because I work in mysterious ways or something equally stupid? TRUE fact: "then the lordeth sent forth a hailstorm of epic propotions in order to silence all of his insolent children, this was before the burning ashes and the sharp nails of course" -History channel 2. Jesus The wiseguy eh? Jesus being wise: "Only he that hates his mother and father can become my a student of mine" "And as thus God commanded that a single spiky cross with his son`s measurements where made, when Peter asked oh why lordy lordeth? God responded: Because of sin" and all was good" "Then Peter asked Goddeth, oh lawdy lawd, what is sin? God replied: Something original now shaddap!, and all was good?" 3. Brokeback Jesus fact: The bible does not use the word Donkey. "Jesus, why doest thou enter thy neigbors home and ride upon his large ass?" Jesus the psychic: "I shallt just ride upon his ass for a few hours, then God shall take ride his ass back", Ugh, I just got the feeling this is going to sound total Ass in the future... Who is quoting us by the way? -History channel. 4. Jesus the: Dumbass moments extended "Then Jesus touched upon the fig tree that denied him figs that WINTER, later the fig tree was dead for its lazyness" (real if not correctly quoted Jesus fact Kay?) Fact: Fig trees dont exactly look alive during winters, besides no trees give fruit during winter. "Then Jesus proceeded to demand eggs from a rooster, which he killed for the roosters lazyness" "Then Jesus proceeded to milk a bull and..." 5. Real story that does not quite make sense to me. Some blind guy was possessed by Legion, when they (WE ARE LEGION aka bunch of demons) saw Jesus they begged him not to kill them, as they would face God`s wrath. Jesus seemingly spared their life by putting Legion`s into several pigs... Which ran off and drowned themselves in the nearby river. ...Why did they suicide? Was it so humiliating going from a blind old man, towards pigs that they literally drowned themselves (one of the more painful deaths there are) and then probably faced da lawds wrath anyways?

Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

here's a joke: Ron Paul: Hope for America

What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Most people are ignorant of the global sex slave trafficking industry and apathetic about global hunger.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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