What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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why did the boy die he had a raging case of cardiovascular disease

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boys

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

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Whats brown a sticky, shit

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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you dint have to be a jew matt

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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The boy wakes up and says "I'm feeling kind of fishy today." The dad come into the sea anemone and says that's because you are, Nemo.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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q

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Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

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pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

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In 1843 when Man invented the moon, people set sail on ironclad ships to lands that sold items that weren't for sale in similar such stores in other lands not reachable by ironclad ships or dirigibles as they became known once they changed form completely and were a differentobject entirely and of no use for water transport. That's when the real revolution in telecommunications began, the truck drivers would use CB radios as early as 1287 and 1276 in Canada. the CB radio enabled the users to order pizza and develop symbiotic relationshiops with canvas. Amongst other things.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

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How did the blind man escape the mugger? He ran into a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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