- Anti Joke

who ate all the food in zimbabwe? Nick bigg.. he later died of cancer and aids

What did jonah say to your mum ... Nothing jonah is your mum

2001, 2 airplains fly into the world trait centers. the pilots then had their licences taken away.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

Yo mamas so greasy that she has a beard

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels.

Chinese men having large penis.

How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY

Cinema greatest shit final, anime and videogames dont translate well into movies edition: One day... a young man named Tyler Reed, is chased by the notorious bully named Peter Ganondorf... Just then... he coincidentally utters "I AM THE LINK!" And a great lightning bolt strikes him... Tyler Becomes THE LINK! As for Peter Ganondorf... he became a pile of burning ashes... But Just then THE LINK, gets contacted by Jessica Fairy! And receives a important message... The evil Dr.Bullshitious has destroyed the connection without earth and planet Zelda! And that is bad... BECAUSE! Can Tyler Reed use his powers of lightning fast flight, and collect the TWO pieces of the mystic "triforce" to earn the ultimate weapon? The Master gun! Most importantly, can he become THE LINK between Planet Zelda and Earth? Shows random shots that you cant make shit of like those movies you know suck just from the narration ZELDA: THE LINK TO PLANET EVOLUTION! Moral: Still better than Dragon Ball Evolution...

Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: Leaving the cinema Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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