What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

This dog can only sniff marijuana.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A ship wrecks in the South Pacific ocean. Only one man survives. He swims to a semi-deserted island, and is later eaten by the cannibal inhabitants

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why did the Japanese man fall off the cliff? A: He was pushed

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a man walk into a bakery, he sais... may i have a loaf of bread....

thumb_up thumb_down +5

In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I'm gay Mr Goodwin

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops