I was walking down the street then my hands were itchy so I stuck em in my pockets Jk, I'm a donkey. We don't have hands

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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Why did the man start vacuuming his neighbor's floor? He had to get the GSR

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

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Dude did you hear of that mexcican who made a succesful living? Yeah. Me too,

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Miscarriages.

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whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

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Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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A women in the kitchen.

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A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

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Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

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How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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Why did the arm-less Ben fall off the swing? Gravity

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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