Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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why did the man throw his clock out of he window? he was mentally insane.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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What's the difference between a red door and a blue door? Fat black people.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He threw at the girl, and that's why she fell off the swing.

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Due to the wildlife conservation program prevalent in the neighborhood, the chicken was able to cross the road safely.

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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Why was the user KyuremCult's name blacklisted on iFunny? She had been repeatedly banraided by people with no success, but because of the mass reports and the leading to some of her works being deleted, the system decided to blacklist her name from search.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops