What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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