I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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If i have a remote that can switch people to mute, the number 1 people will be asian, and it will be on the train.

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how did the man die from falling out of the window his angry x- friend pushed him.

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Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

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What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

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Replacement Referees

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Where will you be in twenty years? Celebrating the twentieth anniversary of reading this question... unless you're older than 60, which by modern life expectancy, you'd be dead.

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Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

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*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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Why was the black guy so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

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knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

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How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

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What hapenz when u drnk very hot cup of tea after lunch ............:-> nothing ... Cup becomes empty

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What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Holocast ...

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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Why was Harry arrested? Because he stabbed multiple children.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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Why does beonce say to the left, to the left. she doesnt she sings it.

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their is a box of mystery. wat is in that box?? do u no wat is in that box!?!?!?!?!?!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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