what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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What's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A democrat parade.

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What eats grass and goes MMMMOOOOOOO? A weird person that likes to eat grass and MMMMOOOOOOO

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Why was the black man forced off of the roller coaster He had heart disease

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Q: When do u know when your sister is on her period? A: Your dads dick tastes funny.

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penis?

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Knock knock

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Your mother is so average in weight and in attractiveness.

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How does Moses make his Tea? Hebrews it.

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roses are red... violets are blue ..... Cancer

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Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

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old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

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Stones cannot fly. Humans cannot fly either. Therefore.. I wish I didn't get AIDS...

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Why? Why Not?

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you know why people who read anti-jokes are stupid? i just had the greatest sex ever!!

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Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

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Q: What did the terrorist do when he walked into the football stadium? A: Set off a bomb, killing him and others there

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Your mom.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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whats the difference between a turkey and a baby i dont know how to cook a turkey

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death drives to the bus stop where 3 pensioners are waiting for a bus to london, and says GET IN THE VAN!

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Are you going to just stand there and watch me burn for i am on fire? Well that is fine because the sensation feels so fantastic. You are going to just stand there and listen to me whine the night away. It is quite okie-dokie for I really love your art of lying! To be certain, I love it very much! I can not find myself telling you what really occurred, I can only explain to you the sensation i felt from this moment. For I have a dagger in my trachea. For the number of days where the do not's fell like the actually do's. I will be very happy :). But where are you trying to walk away from. Than she told me she was leaving. I said no you very certainly are not! Megan Lady-who-sleeps-with-many-men (aka Whore) Fox. We find ourselves back on the day we met...... etc etc, lot's of pissed off Rapper vs. the English language. Than more words fly out of the mouth of the woman that said she "just wanted a hit" than got slapped around the ear by her ex. It is a pointless song. Today's youth is hopeless. (just kidding i love Eminem stay infinite for life)

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No, its just his eye, its infected, he gets fever and well, that is all I should say. Nero is my friend and I do not like it when people lie to him, he is outside having a cigarette, I do not think he wants to speak with you anymore. Bye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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