What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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Patty cake. Which was a pretty funny catchthingie.

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"It's A Bird!!!" "It's A Plane!!!" "No, It's not either of those things."

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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"This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow. Please leave me alone. Don't you know that my day off, is Sunday?"

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

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-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally

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roses are red violets are blue that's just the way god made them

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

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What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

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why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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What's worse than speaking to a Russian bear? Gettting mauled and eaten by one.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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